“Leadership cannot really be taught. It can only be learned.” – Harold Geneen
So many things in life must be learned from experience. We cannot learn the real meaning of heartbreak until we have loved and lost. We do not really understand being a parent until we have children of our own. And as much as we may study leadership, much of what we need to know, we learn as we are doing the work.
Even the best of the best need a coach; someone who can see objectively and keep pushing us to grow and meet our goals. And coaching is most effective when it goes hand and hand with practice. As good as we may be as leaders, it is difficult to give ourselves advice or see our blindspots, and we have to practice new skills for them to become a part of our regular routine.
Practicing new skills becomes more difficult to do as we establish ourselves as a leader. We develop a skill set that works for us and then we go-to those skills again and again. Coaching helps us to see our growth areas in a non-judgmental way. As we reflect on our leadership goals, we can identify ways that we can shift our skill set through practice. Working with a coach helps us to see our growth and celebrate the wins.
Learning the art of leadership takes patience and reflection.
Like any art, the finer points take the most time to learn. Broad brush strokes can only get us so far—but the details are what bring the work to life.
I would love to coach you on this journey of growth and self-discovery that you are on. Since you have decided to read this book, I can surmise that you are searching for more of something—more support, more connection, more balance. I have been searching for more my whole life and I am happy to be with you on your journey.
Coaching doesn’t give you the answers. I can only share my own experiences and what those experiences have taught me. Your answers are within you. I will support you as you dig deep to find them.
Self-care for today: Personal growth rarely happens without some pain. The more we are trying to grow, the more painful it can be.
These are the times we need someone to be our coach—whether we work with a therapist, a life coach, a support group, or a pastor, we need someone objective on our team as we grow. It can be too much for our family or our friends to be our only support system through our own personal growth. The people we are closest to are not always the people who can give us the most objective feedback, and the people who share their feedback freely are not always kind or supportive in their delivery.
There are people who have had the same friends with them throughout their lives. I am not one of those people. Whenever I have experienced significant growth in my personal life, my circle has fallen away. I know from personal experience that the hardest changes for you to endure are also the most difficult for those around you. Find the support system that makes the most sense to you.
Reflections:
The qualities I look for in a coach are:
The qualities I need in a friend are: