Lately, I have had one foot in the future and one foot in the past at the same time.
I scheduled an appointment with a leadership coach to help me figure out what I should be doing differently in my job search and he called me on it in the first five minutes. He put it this way, “If you have 100% of your energy to invest in the job search and 20% is still wishing you were in your old job, then you are really only putting 80% of your energy into finding a new position.”
Ugh. Math.
The next day, I had an opportunity to do some leadership coaching myself and I felt the best I have in months. (There’s that pesky Universe again; thinking she knows more than I do. Oh, right. She does.) One of my passions is building capacity in others, particularly in the area of leadership. I am particularly passionate about supporting women in leadership as we try to balance the expectations of work, family, community, and the need for a sense of self.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh writes about what happens when we give ourselves away until there isn’t a drop left for ourselves. In her book, Gifts from the Sea, Lindbergh writes,
“The desire to be accepted whole, the desire to be seen as an individual, not as a collection of functions, the desire to give oneself completely and purposefully pursues us always, and has its part in pushing us into more and more distractions, illusory love affairs, or the haven of hospitals and doctors’ offices.”
To be accepted whole. To be seen as an individual, not a collection of functions. Yes. To have a purpose and a passion and to make a difference in the lives of people I care about. Yes.
Does it matter what we do as long as we are able to do it with passion, with purpose, and with 100% of our focus moving us forward? I don’t know. But, that is the question as I write, as I keep searching, and as I stand on the edge of next, seeing if I am courageous enough to take the leap.