In this time of social distancing and putting life on pause due to the coronavirus, many of us are doing what we do best – being hard on ourselves and those around us.
So, just for today, let’s think about giving ourselves some grace.
Grace is the sense of peace that comes with letting go; the quiet in between raindrops. It is admitting that who you are today, in this moment, is enough. To give ourselves grace requires giving up believing we are in control, because the reality is no matter how hard we try to be in control of everything, we are really only in control of ourselves.
The list of what I can’t control, but certainly wish I could, is pretty darn long. I have to grapple with letting go and giving my imperfect self some grace pretty regularly. In times of crisis, we cling even harder to that sense of control, thinking that control is what will anchor us in safety, security, and above all, keeping our world exactly the same.
Here’s the worst news you will hear today: the world will never go back to whatever your image of “exactly the same” is. The world has moved on, and it will keep moving on, and no two moments will ever be exactly the same.
In our current reality, thousands of people have transitioned from working outside the home to working from home at the same time as schools sent students home and began distance learning. All at once, we entered a conflict zone. First, there is the perception that working from home is somehow easier and allows more time for all of the things that we always wish we could do. Next, there is the perception of many teenagers that distance learning is like a perpetual snow day, so now the time we thought we might have is really spent trying to manage our kids’ version of distance learning. Then, there is the reality of daily life with everyone home all day, every day, and feeling like the guardrails that held life together are just plain gone.
When we hold ourselves hostage to a perceived expectation of perfection, we create our own inner conflict. That’s where we need to pause and give ourselves some grace.
Today, we are doing the best we can with the tools we have. Think about that. We are all doing the best we can with the tools we have. And it’s okay.
There are times in our lives when we have more bandwidth and times when we have less. Stress, trauma, anxiety, depression – many of the things that we are feeling right now – all wreak havoc with our bandwidth. And it’s okay.
If today isn’t your day to be superhuman, then give yourself some grace because your day will come. Allow yourself to be okay with where you are in this moment and with what you can do in this moment.
Today, you showed up and gave it everything you had, on every front.
Give yourself some grace.
