I initially started to write a completely different blog post. And then I decided that I need to stop telling that story and I need to tell a different story.
I have been telling the story of losing everything – my marriage, my home, my self – and I need to start telling the story of coming back from all of that. I need to change my own narrative.
To say that the past two years have been difficult is an understatement. But, it is not my whole story. I am able to recognize that I have come a pretty long way.
It has taken two years. I am off the floor. I am taking every day as it comes. I have an amazing job, two fantastic sons, and people who care about me. I see that I have grown and I am working towards even more growth.
Instead of seeing myself as a failure, I am starting to see myself as a survivor.
My leadership coach asked me to write a legacy resume – a summary of the accomplishments that I have achieved. I have struggled with this for the past week. Why is it so difficult to acknowledge that we have actually accomplished anything?
I have accomplished things. I have 27 years of experience in education with ten years of experience as a school building leader. I am a published writer. I have a Bachelors Degree, a Masters Degree, and a Certificate of Advanced Study in Educational Leadership. I have presented to undergraduate and graduate students in education, aspiring school and district leaders, at a state-wide education conference, and at a National Conference. I have grown music programs from nothing and with nothing into flourishing examples of success. I have turned around a failing school. I have developed future leaders who will also make a difference. I have collaborated with brilliant people, made beautiful music, and I have loved completely and with my whole being while being loved completely in return.
I have done these things while being a wife and a mother. I have done these things while I struggled with anxiety and depression and while my children struggled with anxiety and ADHD. I have been judged. I have been betrayed. I have lost friends. I have started over. And started over. And started over.
Resilience is being able to bounce back – to overcome adversity. One indicator of resilience is the ability to see a bright future. I lost that ability for a while, but I am starting to understand that just because I can’t see it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t there.
So, here’s to a bright future. Mine and yours.