At some point, you have probably heard someone say, “I never imagined I would be where I am today.” In the past year, I have probably said it over 100 times myself. Maybe more.
The thing is, we tend to look backwards as a way of looking forward, and it simply does not work. We try to apply thinking reflectively to our current situation, which makes us anxious and doubt where we are now. We use our reflective lens to look at the future and we allow ourselves to become frozen with fear, rather than empowered and confident.
Looking backwards, I see a young girl with talent and intelligence who lacked self-confidence. That young girl grew into a talented, intelligent, driven young woman whose overachieving compensated for her lack of self-confidence. That overachiever grew into a woman in the middle of her life who thought she had compensated enough to cover up the gaps and shortcomings. But, as life would have it, what goes up must come down, and 365 days later, every aspect of life is different.
So, how do we make any kind of decision for the future if we are always looking back? We simply choose. And then we live with the choice. Robert Frost said most eloquently:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
While the ending of the poem may give some reassurance that it will all be okay no matter which path is chosen, the line that resonates with me during this time in my life is “And be one traveler, long I stood and looked down one as far I could to where it bent in the undergrowth.” We want to know how it will all work out before we take the risk. I can relate to this so much right now as I debate with myself daily about the impact of one choice or the possibilities that the other choice will bring.
Frost’s poetry simplifies the issue. Eventually, the traveler has to choose. And so do I.
Choosing the right path comes down to making a choice and being assured that wherever we end up will be the right place for us at the right time. Just like the traveler in Frost’s poem. And then when we look back, just as the traveler, we can be comforted that whatever choice we made has made all of the difference.