I read this quote this morning and it is really sticking with me:
“I have not always chosen the safest path. I’ve made mistakes, plenty of them. I sometimes jump too soon and fail to appreciate the consequences. But I’ve learned something important along the way: I’ve learned to heed the call of my heart. I’ve learned that the safest path isn’t always the best path and I’ve learned that the voice of fear isn’t always to be trusted.” -Steve Goodier
My path has definitely not always been the safest. I have gone against the advice of smart people whom I trust again and again. It has been messy, and crazy, and there has been so much anxiety. But, I have learned so many amazing things – about myself, about others, about love, about trust. So many of those lessons came from heartbreak, but I have survived and I keep moving forward.
Trust is difficult, especially if we have been hurt before. Trust, like love or forgiveness, is a choice. I choose to give you pieces of myself, of my story or my heart, to hold on to. I choose to give them to you freely and I trust that you will treat them with care, as I would treat your heart or your story.
When someone we care about breaks that trust, the betrayal is a punch to the gut. The shock, the pain, the disbelief all seem to happen in slow motion as we realize the full extent of what has happened. As we sit with the breach of trust, we start to realize how deep the violation has gone. We may realize that the betrayal has involved several people that we trusted. We might look at our choice to trust and wish we could turn back time or wish we had been more aware of what was happening. We may start to realize that perhaps what we thought of as being vulnerable with those we trusted was seen as weakness by others. Maybe we are strong enough to realize that we are better off without people who see us that way, and maybe we are not. Any way we look at it, we are off the path of safety and we have to decide how we will move forward.
Trusting again means that we have to recognize our hurt and our shame, forgive ourselves for being wrong about someone, and let go of the anger and resentment. These are big steps on our path. And they are important – not for the other person or group of people – but for ourselves. You are worthy of love and you deserve friendships and relationships that you can trust with your whole self and your whole story. In order to see new people and new opportunities, it is important for us to let go of the anger, resentment, hurt, and shame and find our safe haven again – safe to share our real life and our real story with the people we choose to open up to and safe to know that our path is true and will take us where we are meant to be.
