This week, I have been thinking about the difference between being well-intentioned and intentional.
For such a slight shift in wording, there is a monumental difference in the meaning.
Being intentional is an indicator of having your sh*t together a little bit more than just being well-intentioned, isn’t it?
Most of the time, I don’t really have my sh*t together. I am trying like hell, but it is just not happening.
I find myself trying to explain my “well-intentioned” actions more times than I would care to explain, but I will put it out there in the hopes that you might find some benefit from what I share.
When we find that our actions are more “well-intentioned” than intentional, we owe it to ourselves to own up to it and say that we missed the mark. But, that is so much easier said than done, now, isn’t it?
The truth. Ugh. Is it really so hard to tell the truth?
Yes. Yes, it is.
My life has been full of people who have not been able to tell the truth. My husband. My co-workers. My own well-intentioned actions have been twisted, turned, misinterpreted, and used against me by people who have not had my best interest at heart, and I, have lacked the confidence, or strength, to know the difference.
I am working very hard at being intentional in my communication with and support of my kids – particularly in helping them traverse this awkward juxtaposition between being a teenager and being an adult. It is so very difficult to watch them struggle and to let them learn their own lessons in their own way. But, we cannot save them from their own learning – they must experience their own lives with their own highs and lows.
I am intentionally choosing to be grateful for every moment that I have to help them, support them, drive them places, or listen to them talk about anything. I won’t have those moments forever and I am filled with gratitude for every moment we have now – even the ones that leave me saying, “are you freaking kidding me?”
This week, spend some time weighing what is intentional and what is well-intentioned in your daily routine. I think it will be a pretty enlightening experiment.
As I come to the end of these thoughts, I am pulled back in my memories to being a young, single mother trying to make sense of how to parent gracefully and I see so much of my life as being “well-intentioned.” I was trying. I was doing the best I could. But, I lacked so many of the skills that I am aware of now. Even though I live by the adage, “when we know better, we do better,” it is still hard to know that my best missed the mark in so many ways.
And so, I must also be intentional in giving grace where grace is needed and asking others for grace when my well-intentioned self messes up.
Be at peace with yourself this week.