This past summer, I started listening to podcasts.
Well, to be specific, I have been listening to Brene Brown’s podcast, Unlocking Us. If you know me, you know that Brene Brown is my bff – she just doesn’t know it yet. This is another way of saying that I am her biggest fan – but not in a creepy way.
In every episode, I have found something to connect with – something that resonates with me on an incredibly deep level. In the episode with Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, Glennon talks with Brene about having feelings that are just “too big.”
That is something that definitely makes sense to me.
Girls are taught from a very young age to be quiet, to be cute, to fit in – to be small. So, when young girls question or speak out, they are reprimanded – put back in their place – that place where they are expected to stay small.
Our political structures, our religious organizations, our educational system and our social constructs are all built within this male dominant structure. Women who show their feelings are “too emotional.” Women who are confident and direct are called a “bitch.” The different social norms for men and women have been systemized to keep men in positions of power and to keep women from “getting too many ideas.”
I, too, am a woman with big feelings who has never fit within the conventional structures. And I think that we should do all we can to encourage bigness in our young girls. Rather than teaching them to stay quiet, we need to teach them to have the confidence and the tenacity to ask hard questions and challenge the status quo. We need our young girls to know we see them and we believe in them so that they will have the confidence to believe in themselves.
What would it look like/sound like/feel like to help girls feel their power rather than hide their power? Here are a few ideas that I have. Please share your ideas in the comments!
Stop teaching young girls that their lives revolve around housework by buying them kitchens, washing machines, and vacuums from the first year of life. Buy them toys that let them create and let them imagine anything that they want to be at any age.
Acknowledge their effort and not their end result. Be specific about traits like resilience, perseverance, creativity, and confidence.
Talk about what you have learned from your mistakes and how proud you are of their mistakes and their learning.
Challenge gender norms in your own thinking and talk about it with her.
Help turn negative bias into strength: she’s not bossy, she’s a leader.
Be proud of them being their authentic self and share that with them always.
